“Arguing with your teachers will get you nowhere, you will be treated like the child idiot you are. You cannot defend arrogance. All you can do is put on a stone and laugh at the stress buying gifts seems to cause people.”

It was Christmas Day. Giant Michael got out of bed and put on some clothes. This was the second time he’d slept naked on Christmas Eve. As a child he’d gone to bed dressed in a suit made of leftover wallpaper from decorating his room. The plan was to stand inseparably with the wall behind him so that when Mr. Claus turned up he wouldn’t be able to notice. Of course, the plan worked remarkably well. Now he was fully grown, Giant Michael was bored of taking pride in outwitting Mr. Claus; instead just deciding to shock him. Mr. Claus was more disappointed than shocked the first time Giant Michael had changed his approach. Last night was the same to be honest. A quick shake of his bearded face, some muttering about Giant Michael being a “fool” and a refusal to eat the mince pie he’d been left, and Mr. Claus was gone for another year. Standing in the corner of the room wearing a red bauble on the end of himself, in tribute to Rudolf, Giant Michael was pretty chuffed.

“It’s Christmas innit” was all he said that day, and By God that’s all he needed to say.

(entry first published Wednesday 26th December 2007)